Chicken butt w/video

brassmonkey · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 9:55 am Post subject: Chicken butt w/video

So this dude that's in his mid 60's comes into where I work everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day and chills here. He is completely wacked out and has been a bonified nut for years apparently. He believes that he can filter in different wavelengths and frequencies to tap into everyone’s mind and uses the information that he is receiving to build his own mind up to the size of god's. He thinks that he owns a huge co-operation and that they send him all over the world because he can telepathically connect over different dimensions to understand flaws in the company and "straighten them out." The thing is, this guy actually is no dummy and is a fairly intelligent man, he just truly believes his own delusions (pretty badass right?) This dude used to be an engineer and one day just totally wigged out and has been bug house loco ever since, but he makes for a rad dude to converse with.
I'm pretty sure he makes his rounds with most of the local businesses and shares his thoughts but from what I can gather I don't think most people are very nice to him. He's really a harmless dude he's just nuts so I've never found a reason to not be polite to him.
Yesterday dude comes in like he always does but instead of getting all crazy talk with me he hands me a chicken pot pie and a corn dog, clearly his way of showing his appreciation. Lets rewind sentence or two. A chicken pot pie and a corn dog. I stand there dumbfounded, expressionless, and emotionally stunned. What the shizzle? What a bad ass way to say "hey man, you are a nice dude and thanks for letting me come in here and talk about how I think I'm god and have more knowledge than any human being to ever walk the face of the earth." He stands there super stoked that he gotz da hook up for f00dz, and tells me he’s gonna go talk to the other. I didn't eat it, but if I hadn’t eaten prior to this bizarre event I may have just for the concept. Anyway, this brought the confused lols as I spent the next 5 minutes staring down and my creative gift.

stOAKed · Backside 180 Joined: 28 Oct 2007 Posts: 1946

I have no idea Question

POPTART · 360 flip Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 7621

i wanna see a pic of this guy

then u need to record his thoughts and make a thread sharing his stories

brassmonkey · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 10:36 am Post subject:

I'll try to get a ninja picture of him when his crazy ass shows up today.

soy escuala · Backside 180 Joined: 16 Jan 2006 Posts: 2248

wait i saw the pic and thought pervertedly, so i read the story, i guess that wasnt the case?

edrex · Backside 180 Joined: 18 Oct 2006 Posts: 1020 City: NorCal

Just ask him politely if you can take his picture. If he says no, don't do it. If he's really crazy you don't want to set him off by just snapping shots of him.
Besides, he'll already have tapped into your head and know what you are up to.

brassmonkey · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 11:13 am Post subject:

soy escuala,

edrex, Good point, he probably already knows my plans. Hopefully I don't get murdered today.

taku · Kickflip Joined: 10 Mar 2007 Posts: 2868 City: Central FL

I think that's really cool actually. +1 for being nice to the guy when probably few others are.

POPTART · 360 flip Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 7621

brassmonkey, camera phone

act like texting

soy escuala, u would

kyle · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 2:12 pm Post subject:

My old roommate is doing a psychiatry rotation at an insane asylum, and the stories he tells me puts this guy to shame. He has one guy who has been in there since 1989 because he thinks he is God and can tell whether or not people are possessed. The problem is when he thinks you are possessed, he cures you by throwing his sh*t on you. The new law is that you can only be restrained 24 hours for every 72 hour period, so every two out of three days, he is free to sling. He also sometimes feels that he is possessed and then eats his own sh*t. Another cure of his is sex so he has apparently had sex with 42 out of the 45 patients in his unit, male or female, old or young, doesn't matter.

Another patient he has is addicted to drinking any sort of fluid, he thinks he is constantly thirsty, so in his room all of the water sources are turned off including the toilet because he will drink toilet water as well. He had to leave his room for a physician consult in one of the different wings and in the course of 5 minutes he drank 5 cups of coffee 6 glasses of juice and two cokes. When my buddy went to give him his psych consult when he got back, he told him that it was reported he drank all of those fluids and he attacked my roommate. The guard had to tackle him into the wall and the guy ended up getting tazed. He works in the aggressive patients unit so these luneys can snap at any time. This guy happens to be in for murder.

The last one he told me about was a guy who killed his brother and then raped and killed his mother. He then went on to murder a few more people before getting locked up and has killed one patient since being in the facility. My roommate was doing a history on this guy not knowing his background and said he was the nicest guy in the world. As the week went on, the guy started calling him Keith instead of his real name. So Neil went to the doctor and asked if it is weird that this guy keeps calling him Keith. The doctor immediately panicked and said he is no longer allowed to come in any sort of contact with this patient. Keith was his brothers name, and whenever he starts calling people Keith, that is when he has murdered or attempted murder on the person

brassmonkey · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 2:59 pm Post subject:

He's not in an institution. He possesses basic social skills which keep him circulating in society. Crazy stories though, it's interesting to think about how and why those people's brains function the way they do..

FenderBass37 · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject:

what kind of place do you work at?

uidzero · Kickflip Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Posts: 3839 City: Casselberry

If he comes back into the store grab the pot pie and the corn dog. Walk over to him and just start fvcking the pie with the dog while looking him straight in the eyes... See if he thinks you're the crazy one.

brassmonkey · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 3:44 pm Post subject:

uidzero, hhahahahah

I'm basically a middle man at a jeep store and take info to banks and what not. He showed up as always and I tried to snap a pic on my phone but it ended up being a video. Don't try to make sense of his rant, I don't get it. Something about taking in information from wavelenghts and something about gama rays. I think this is an obvious sign to get out of the midwest immediately

POPTART · 360 flip Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 7621

hahahahahahaha

his sweater proves his sanity

Ballin
Smash

-=AlexXx=- · Posted: Aug 20, 2008 5:09 pm Post subject:

omg that is crazy man...

kyle, those are some serious stories.