Joke of the day

xboard32x · Posted: May 27, 2004 3:10 pm Post subject: Joke of the day

Since I am sure we all like reading jokes and laughing. I made this thread so we dont have to make a new topic all the time just for a joke. So post your jokes on here guys.

JOKE:

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."

So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"

And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

Steven M · Posted: May 27, 2004 3:25 pm Post subject:

so theirs this guy down in arkansa(sp?) and he walks into a bar. as soon as he does every one stops and looks at him. hes dressed in animal skins head to foot. hes got a beaver hat, bearskin shirt, and a mountain lion skin pants. he walks up to the bar and ask for a beer. the bartender goes and gets one. when he comes back he ask the man why he dressed like so.

the man replies, " well sir im a taxidermist."

bartender looks confused and ask, "whats a taxidermist?"

man says," well... i mount dead animals"

bartender has a sigh of relief and tells everyone, " its ok hes one of us"

nick · Posted: May 28, 2004 10:41 am Post subject:

WaKeSk8er209, HAHAHAHA... ok im against any kind of banning of guns or how many your allowed to own or what kind, unless you have a history of violence or temper... mostly just common sense

A. The number of physicians in the US is 700,000.
B. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000.
C. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(US Dept. of Health &Human Services)

Then think about this:
A. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000.
B. The number of accidental gun deaths per year is 1,500.
C. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner 0.0000188.

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun
owners.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors
before this gets out of hand Laughing

Steven M · Posted: May 28, 2004 10:48 am Post subject:

thanx che blanc,

nick · Posted: May 28, 2004 10:55 am Post subject:

tell your friends to watch out for dangerous doctors Laughing

wcwakeskater · Posted: May 28, 2004 11:59 am Post subject:

Yea, but what about all the ghetto people that are shootin each other up over their weed? Are those counted in the accidental gun deaths? If they aren't, that might add a lot of deaths.

Grouch · Kickflip Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 3146 City: The OC

Its not the doctors, but the insurance companies that scare me.

xboard32x · Posted: May 28, 2004 1:18 pm Post subject:

Well this isnt a joke but wcwakeskater, might get a kick outa it talking about gangs

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Northeast/05/25/gangs.truce.reut/index.html

xboard32x · Posted: May 28, 2004 5:49 pm Post subject:

terrible joke....
What did the 0 Say to the 8? "Nice belt."

Grouch · Kickflip Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 3146 City: The OC

Why does a cow wear a bell?

Because his horns dont work. Bang Head

NaRC-P rider · Posted: May 28, 2004 8:21 pm Post subject:

ok here's an "interactive" joke that you guys can play on one of your friends. this is great and the reactions are awesome. ok, first you have to have a group of at least three or more people in on it. tell them that you are going to tell a really stupid joke that makes no sense at all. for instance, i usually use this:
"ok there's a mama bear, a papa bear, and a baby bear. they are all sitting down at dinner. the mama bear says to the papa bear, 'please pass the honey.' so he passes the honey. then the baby bear says to the papa bear, 'please pass the milk.' so he passes the milk. then the mama bear says to the papa bear, 'papa bear, please pass the jelly...' and the papa bear says 'what do you think i am, a toaster?'"
see? it makes no sense. but you have to tell everyone to laugh hysterically at it, and then the one person that's not in on it feels like an idiot and laughs with you, even though he really doesn't know what the heck you're talking about. it's great. and then you can be like "don't you get it? ya know, milk, honey, jelly?? toaster???" hahahahah it's awesome. don't go to far with it though, some people are very insecure..
it works real well if you're sitting down to eat or if you're on the boat, like the last person to get in the boat is it. enjoy.

xboard32x · Posted: May 28, 2004 8:32 pm Post subject:

me and buddy use to do that all the time in high school. its great. or instead of "ya know, milk, honey, jelly, toeaster. Be like say it slow miiiiiilk hooooooney. So you get them to say and there like o yeah. So you dig them an even bigger hole Razz

heywood · Pop Shuvit Joined: 14 Sep 2003 Posts: 144 City: hollywood

where does george washington keep his armies

in his sleevies

nick · Posted: May 29, 2004 7:02 pm Post subject:

another bad joke

There are three guys driving a car. Their names are: Poop, Manners,
and Shut Up. The three men were looking for a guy named Trouble.

Shut Up is driving. He is going over the speed limit, and a cop pulls
him over.

When he stops the car, Poop flies out the open side window and gets grinded into the road.

The cop, not seeing what just happened, asks "Son, what is your name?"

"Shut Up."

"Son, really, what is your name."

"Shut Up!"

"Are you looking for trouble?"

"Why, yes, we are."

(Annoyed Cop) "Where are your manners?!"

"Outside, scraping Poop off the street."

xboard32x · Posted: May 31, 2004 2:05 pm Post subject:

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!

Why did the kid fall off the swing?

He had no arms.....Just think about what that would look like...Yeah I'm prob. goin to hell but very funny.

Fredrick_Eisenhauer · Posted: Jun 01, 2004 8:25 am Post subject:

Whats borwn and sticky?

A stick.

Frye · Guest Joined: 14 Sep 2003 Posts: 3337

hahahahahha ok even though NaRC-P rider's, joke was meant to be confusing, i couldnt help but laugh for a good 5 minutes at it even though its not funny.

Fredrick_Eisenhauer · Posted: Jun 02, 2004 6:47 am Post subject:

How many times does 8 go into 35?

Ask Michael Jackson. Neutral

xboard32x · Posted: Jun 05, 2004 4:05 pm Post subject:

Click the link not much of a joke but very funny. Dont mind the name of the site nothing like that I promise.
http://dickcream.com/yeah/

wcwakeskater · Posted: Jun 05, 2004 6:50 pm Post subject:

idk, maybe i just don't get it, but that was not very funny to me.