trying to write creative

[EJazzle]

http://www.ejpeterson.com/2009/12/what-great-day.html


critique me plz

[electricsnow]

I guess one major piece of advice I received from my professor is, if you can, try to make a person the subject of your sentences (this won't always happen, but try to write about people and not things).

Another is the language. granted, I understand you're trying to go for some sort of vibe, but as an example, I think it sounds weird to say a spear penetrated your friend's toe.

Third: spelling. Check it. And don't take that the wrong way because I misspell and generally mistype the word "because" as "becasue" on a keyboard (I guess it's how my fingers work). but you typed that there was a "rate" sighting of someone and not a "rare" sighting.

beyond that, I'm sure there are other parameters creative writers work with...I never really considered myself a creative writer, so I try to write stuff that's interesting yet readable. I used to write things in a more complex fashion and I liked it, but I can also see the faults in it because most people won't want to work that hard to read something. If it's not interesting or they don't understand it, they won't read it.

Good luck!

[BB]

You said his name was "Spearmanhoulihan" then later he is 'the spearmanhoulihan'. Keep it consistent whichever way you choose.
"With his spear at hand he launched it at us with great agression(sp) to try and ward us off" Change this line. Maybe take out 'try', add a comma 'hand (,) he' or just delete it and try rephrasing it. Good story though.